>>> return to home-back to civilization

>>> insatiable hungers- MC, love, food, beauty

i don't mind having more of MCs, PASTA, STUPID IDIOT and Eyebrow trimming sessions.

Got referral letter to NUH for AMNESIA... wtf. it's not that serious right. who cares, i got my MC for the day.

went to walk around NTUC, happen to see my Toblerone bar on the shelf, going for $2.05 for 2, damn cheapo. wanted to buy, but decided to give it a miss. i'm noticing the bulge on my tummy.

met ash and Qi in sunplaza. got eyebrows trimmed. not used to my new look. i look like some hantu.

went for sumptuous pasta mania feast. AGAIN. i'll never get tired of pastas. =)
walked around for some time before going home. homework undone still. =(

made an innocuous remark but unexpectedly triggered an unwanted argument. guess i've hurt him. i'm sorry. Had a real long chat with him. it's just a short 37.55mins but it has done wonders. i'm spiritually fulfilled. i'm so blessed to have him...




>>> catch-22

didn't go school. Not sick, but can't sleep well. thousands of reasons to give the doctors later on and the questions here is WHICH ONE???

telling the doctors i'm suffering from insomnia? i'm suffering from menstrual cramps? or the usual diarrhoea excuse? is any of these valid? but it's a do or you die situation. i got to get MC in any case.

i'm caught in a CATCH-22-- too bad stupid idiot's in school, if not going to the doctors wouldn't be such a chore...

>>> settling for the night

it's just one of those sleepless nights when you keep tossing and turning, fidgeting to your left, and then your right, just to find the perfect position to sleep in but you just can't find it. then you stare at the walls above you, looking everywhere. Then, you start to think about your family, friends, boyfriend, money, problems, everything.

but all i want is just a bar of Toblerone to stop my restlessness. and i'm hating the fact that my brothers are always there to count the extra calories, carbs, sugar, and fats i'm taking in for every bite i take. Darn...

insomnia is taking it's place, i still can't sleep. or perhaps, the night belongs to me. maybe i'm just, nocturnal.

Tomorrow's another dreadful day. 2 hours before i prepare for school. 11 hours before the deadline to my unfinished homework of Lit essays, english compre, chinese compre, and econs essays. and maybe about 15 hours before i go to some place to have my eyebrows trimmed and perfected with shu qi... i hate my life... it's LIFELESS.

i dream a dream of stupid idiot's Clark and I, L.Lane... ( dream on i know... but i'm just holding on to this dream to keep me spiritually alive =) hahas... hmmm maybe i should tuck in now.. Ta-ta)


>>> things for a change

HARVEST MOON --back to nature anyone heard of it?

my new game..keeping me alive for now...

tied down by loads homework: literature, PW, econs, english and chinese. ALL OVERDUED!! gtg finish that darn thing now. byes...


>>> finally.. i waited so loong

13th july 2006
had a good treat from stupid idiot. 10 inch hawaiian and some fusilli. went home early. =(

14th july 2006
PE slack. talked about the coming OBS trip. yu ling was telling us how fun it was though it sounded quite scary to us. well.. gotta get zip locs soon...

depressed. ate cornetto choc and vanilla in class. martin ate jelly ice cream and zhixiang ate orange popsicle. gossip AGAIN. did assignment and rushed home.

finally, stupid brought me to SUPERMAN RETURNS. (8.15 pm in sunplaza)
but i wished i've got cup corn with me in the cinema. craving for it.... toblerone and koko crunch unable to satisfy my desire still.

had a real talk with stupid idiot. lotz of misunderstandings and misinterpretations. hope he understands me. =) someday i know you will...

>>> worn-out




>>> Down with aphasia-curse




>>> unexpected vs expected

Geog failed badly. hahs... i'm taking things way too easy... didn't cry.




>>> sleep disturbed

at 6 am in the morning, devastating news left me restless. france lost.
luckily it wasn't so much of a commotion in school regarding the soccer news.
i'll be so turned off if it were the case.

woke up late. 8.41am !!! stupid brother thought i was going school at 6pm. i mean which jc student goes to school only at 6pm? he's just a dumbass. -_-'' and worst still, he turned my alarm clock off... wth..had to run to school.. idiotic bugger..

econs results mortifying. don't talk about it. cried. pangs of chagrin. shameful.
GP results made my day.way better than expected. smiled a little.

PE was with wan cheng and charmaine. did a little bimbotic laugh-a-lot badminton game. laughs whenever shuttlecock drops on floor.
and we laughed alot. hahas...
martin and zhi xiang also came to join in the fun until they got caught playing in uniform in which they're not supposed to.

went mos burger had lunch with sarah. went back school by taxi for HEATS, watch sarah run 4 x 100 metres. she's great.. last runner, she chiong... got 1st place. yeah!!

stupid idiot's so considerate nowadays. now my life's so complete. thanks to him..=) and everybody else involved.




>>> cup finals

late for service... again!! =( i'm pure lazy...

homework not done, 3 econs essay and chinese compre..blah blah.. still went church...
now, i deserve some praise.

met chew in dhoby ghaut blah blah, and guess what? today's JERSEY SUNDAY!! everybody goes church in their colourful colourful jerseys and painted faces... it's like a mini congregation of soccer fanatics..!! i was too self concious, i didn't paint myself.

after service people stayed back for the PLAYSTATION 2 SOCCER LEAGUE. between zone b and C people. yeah, 15 mins match. the zone C people--Brazil-- trashed Zone B--i forgot what--with a score of 5-1... and got away with authentic jerseys and the world cup ball. AMazing.. cheered the team along with this real humourous cheer ..." zone B bo leh ( means 'can do it' as what chew explained) bo leh.. bo leh..... all the others can go fly kite...accompanied with a real cool tune..atmosphere damn high...

after that went lunch or rather dinner @ meridian foodcourt... a big group of us.. and some stayed back to watch soccer finals in church, thon there. i wanted to go but can't shower... *cry*

finally stayed at home to finish whatever crap i owe teacher... hmm... miss services...

i want france to win.. cause every single soul i know is saying "italy gonna win!!"
come'on france.... win the trophy back, bring glory to your nation and show italy who's boss
-longing for another service saturday-


>>> nightmares




>>> laze in the house

slept for whole day. NO LIFE. no survey outing. shahril suggested to fake statistics. i said

"NO!!!WE CAN'T DO THAT MY DEAR..IT's FUCKING "A" LEVELS PROJECT!!!"

missed church. felt so bad. i wanted to go today. =(. overslept

and so sorry for being not interested in that Marsiling cutural nights Kai wei... i hate that school. and i suppose they won't produce anything productive in the music arena--even though they tried making it HIGH-CLASS by performing in Victoria concert hall today. and that's not gonna work. i've got high expectations. their standard takes light years to reach mine. i would be dead by then. hav to pay $10 lousy music? i won't even consider 1 0 cents.

chatted with old friends, puikheng, debbie and blah blah. so interesing. missing them...
going out with stupid idiot later on... i hope he brings me to 'superman returns' today. i wanna watch it.

yeah, stomach's better. thanks for the concerns.

>>> the cat ran away, the bottle finally propped open

read Han's blog. and coincidentally came across this particular month when i was quite frequently mentioned. i owe it to him that i'm still standing right here, in one piece. otherwise, i wouldn't have known what would become of me. i might be watching you guys from above right now.

19 months back...


>>> what more can i ask for? =)

school rocks. just for today.

PE was great fun. slow jogged with wan cheng and cassie around the track. Econs lecture no longer the stereotyped listen-to-lecturer-and-u-shut-up that kinda tradition. bernard syn actually bothered to stupefy us with his grisly looking fisherman he drawn while explaining concepts to us. we were all left rolling on the floor from all that sadistic humour he made up upon his drawing. rushing overdue homwork but didn't manage to finish in time. i rather submit Quality work than to trade for that punctuality marks awarded. A* student i am. *grins*

chinese class is my favourite cause i get to chat with martin and xiang. xiang had heats, 100m. so walked home with martin instead.

went yio chu kang to check out for availability of tennis lessons. my 'hometown' . grew up there. long time ever since i've visited that place ever since i've moved to a foreign place in Jalan Kayu till now. i realised lots of things have changed. new schools, new bus services reaching ino Teacher's Estate-where i once lived. a nostalgic feeling swept over me, scenes of my childhood flashed across my mind, an overwhelming sense of uncertainty overcame me. i was shocked to realise that i've already grown up. the last time i had been here was 7 years ago and it had been so long that i wondered if this place ever existed in my entire life. suddenly, it just feels so right to be there, however the fact that my primary school friends who once dominated my life in ang mo kio for 6 full years had gone away subtly, it's just faded memories of the past which i can never find it back. with that, it left me there like a carcass-no identity, bitter, cold and forsaken.

i'm sure i've matured alot. i've learnt new things. though i still find delight in being a daddy's girl once in a while. it's funny how it works for me but yah, indulging a little in whining out loud like a little kid makes me young. it's like i'm still three!! hahas...

went home. practised a little piano. devised new ways to work on my new piece, " shinkai no kodoku" a jap anime piece. it just rocks. =) shu qi said wanna hear it... i've learnt it!!

the six-page-onlys jap piece

it was already 10.15 pm. when i realised my stomach flu was acting up again. it's getting damn serious. several times a week that it happened. i longed for stupid idiot for a fairy tale to take place. "a prince to a damsel's rescue" incident of that sort.

it did happen. miraculously he remembered to sms me after work without reminders. i was so taken by surprise. i was crouching on the bed, groaning and groaning bout the intensity of the pain. searing and excruciating. i told him about it. he offered to take me to the 24 hour clinic nearby in a cab. i was too sick to get out of crouching position. denied the kind offer. but thanks anyway. i saw a streak of humanity in him for once. hahas. i was so so so so so happy. you wouldn't know people. unless you're me. heex...

>>> brain crack session

hmm wish list hasn't been drawn up. cracking brain to give you people a good time knowing of what to give me during sacred moments like 21st october of every year. just kidding. =) actually it's more for stupid idiot to take note of. wahhahaa....

hmm... so far so good, maybe a crumpler bag would be nice. i love the one with alternate hues of purple-striped design. practical and might be still in the fashion ten years down the road. but after much thought, maybe not. it might look childish. i'll most probably bring a tote bag to university. sling bags tempt me to carry more stuff to school. they're much more spacious.
i like the Le coq sportif black shiny with white-print chicken logo on the sides. but it's too common. i don't want to carry a bag which resembles that of one out of every 20 people i meet on the streets. it's disguisting. but the bag's still nice. a haversack? nah, i don't really like cloth material. i prefer plastic. preferably nylon. =) nylon stuffs gives the product a modern-look kinda finish. awesome.

i would like a apple mini. but it's no longer in sale. a ipod nano will do great, but it's battery life too short. only 4 hours if excessively used. i 've heard enough complaints about it. creative's long lasting, but i don't like the design. brain's dead from all these thinking.

a nike casual shoe with a dark blue logo popping out at the sides is in my list. around $90 only!! i got discount card. heex. but i'm gotta get tennis racket and sports wear. hmmm....

spotted several tops during recent orchard trip. will save enough to buy. amounts around up to $250. not cheap eh.. it'll take me some time.

a digital cam! to make time stop. a tool to bring you back to the past. can't live without it. hmm.. i only trust sony or canon cameras. i've tried all others-nikkon, creative, XX brand, blah blah. only these two take better pics. =)

can't think of anything else.
lastly, a stupid idiot 24-hours available for me. which i know would never happen..


>>> i'm a dead duck



>>> sunken deeply in metaphysical doubt

i hate to be born into this world despite the fact that i got amazing friends. had a good time in GP lecture today. gossips, chats with sann and sarah in auditorium-those were the days. slept throughout lessons. sleepy..damns

computer down today. took me 2 hours to get into the internet.

ms Selvi supposed to meet me at 3pm outside staff room. think she's got meeting. i can't find her anywhere in school compound. waited till 3.45pm. pissed.

supposed to meet him for dinner. i overslept. guess he didn't want me to go at all. he didn't call me up to make sure i go dinner with him. he's just simply not interested. i smsed him " =( good nitex" he smsed back " y are u so unhappy?" i didn't reply. he's just hopeless. DISAPPOINTED.

so many calls today. yee koon, jess, kai wei. him and blah blah. sleep continuously disrupted. accounts for my grouchiness i'm feeling now.

france won.. yeah... the black sheeps always steals the limelight. i win too people. *smiles* finally something to be happy about.


>>> world cup ongoing...

portugal of france ??

most are banging on portugal. i beg to differ. i know nothing about soccer but it's just in my blood to go against the crowd. teachers, friends, stupid idiot have faith in portugal. i prefer black sheeps.

though chances are that portugal might win afterall. majority wins.

>>> it's a grim , gloomy day.




>>> wretched

it has come to a point when sorry dosen't help


>>> the good and bad

the good and the bad always come together

bad news: failed lit section A
Good news: i didn't fail so Badly

bad news: got econs lessons
good news: no homework and kinda fun. got jokes during lecture. laugh big time.

bad news: he pulling long faces at dinner time
good news: he still cares.

bad news: watching scary movie 4. slightly scared.
good news: i'm gonna watch with him.

>>> dread early mornings

it's 6.05am now. i could still be sleeping at this hour during holidays. going to school in 40 mins time.
dozed off last night reading R.K. Narayan's "the guide".
didn't reply to stupid idiot's mutiple smses i received cause i have already slept. i'm so sorry.

wei loong introduced Stephen King's " The green mile", he said it's the first book to make him cry. hahs. please do not laugh. i know of guys crying at Nicholas sparks's.

Good morning people. i'm awake already. thanks for all the attention. -_-'' so lame huh. blogging does make one gain conciousness.

another boring day of economics, geography, languages, math, and literature. luckily i'm so blessed with friends and stupid idiot to spice up everything. byes!! =)


>>> things will never be the same again. If only..we could turn back time

before
we walked along the roadside. it's already half a kilometre from where we started. our fingers interlocked. no whispering of sweet nothings (he's not romantic) but exchanged meaningful conversations. sends me home with a gentle goodnight kiss on the forehead happy.

after
we walked along the roadside. he's getting irritated. he's tired. he no longer hold my hands. we're an arms length apart. i stopped talking for the fear that he'll get angry. he stops talking out of fatigue. my hands are freezing from the blowing of the frosty wind. i yearn for his warming hands to reach over for mine; take away the chill i'm feeling. but he didn't. he continued to ignore my very presence. i hate him this way. i protested in silence, i decided to keep quiet. he didn't sense that something is amiss. i refuse to bring up the problem. i went away in the bus. No goodnight kisses, no more conversations.no nothing. everything in the past reflected like a dream out of reach. out of my reach.

what is happening to us? a barricade between? out of nowhere? can't be. something must have happened i don't know what. it is causin me to lose my mind. it causes pain and suffering to the depths of my soul. i think i've got things i can't see eye-to-eye with. i don't know.

i can't contain much anymore. i had to voice my anguish.

but somehow when i had to speak, nothing comes out.

>>> fun dae

went church with chew.

got new aquaintances. samantha, the funkiest of all. she always went ," AH PEIRU!!" -_-''
and zhi ya, wayne, leonard erm..a lot more. hahas.
saw nigel along the way. sat with him. he's so fun. hahs.

realised my colleague from burger king bout a year ago, yong cheng, also in this church.

coulndn'y catch Just My Luck, tickets all sold out. cathay didn't have, golden village either..finally settled for Cafe Catrel instead.

chew feasting on her lamb..so cute.in dhoby ghaut

met stupid idiot after dinner. =)

>>> argentina failed me, wtf

chiong maple level, lvl 52 bandit now. somebody beat it.

went yishun eat chong pang nasi lemak. 9 chicken wing ++ rice blah blah..$$13.10. ex mans..with stupid idiot and friend. Argentina failed last minute. Wtf.. or else frend gets extra $100 home.

i didn't bet. practice abstinence. i don't even go clubbing. might get drunk. might get sexually asaulted and insulted. better not. hahas. scared.

went home @ bout 2am. heart beat went as fast as cab meter. cab fare $9.60. broke. brother's friend here. -_-''. watch videos together. NO PORN. comedies strictly.

brother cai helped mi touch up on blog profile. don sad liao la..*smile*.!!! and thanks again. Happie b'day too....

name:apple mei


wishlist
birthday's on 21st oct..thanks people..*smirks*

l.MP3--at least 4gb and no CREATIVE please

2.a brand new wardrobe( packed with new clothes)

3.wait till i think of stuff

lastly, a stupid idiot 24 hours available for me...



February 2006;
March 2006;
April 2006;
May 2006;
June 2006;
July 2006;
August 2006;
September 2006;
October 2006;
November 2006;
December 2006;
January 2007;
February 2007;
March 2007;
April 2007;
June 2007;
July 2007;
August 2007;
September 2007;
October 2007;