:) <body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/22891053?origin\x3dhttp://melanholylexicon.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

Wednesday, July 12, 2006
>>> Down with aphasia-curse

everything expressed in the muffled cries of mine.
deeply affected by the menacing reality,
threatening me achieve the unattainable.
what and where is the benchmark?
i question.
i hear no echoes, no reverberation.
i live with utter fear and mystification
saw a future bleak and out of reach.
dumbfounded with what i see
incompetent results the ultimate root of all evil.
Chinese. how could i ever possibly fail it? but lets face it. i did.
mini gossips and mini chats in chinese class with zhixiang and martin. rest of classes are dull and lifeless. A levels oral another killer. killed. just that there's no blood. no stopping of heart beats. just a mental thwack which aggravated present horrible situation. brain percussion syndrome repeatedly attack and is torturous.
manifested with all possible pessimistic thoughts. impulse on committing suicide dominating. might self-mutilate one day.
dared not to go home. did something evil to brother. i might get it from him. chickened away from home and wandered around the north. 856 trip to woodlands and back to yishun again. 812 to SAFRA check for tennis lessons. god damned place don't conduct lessons. wasted trip.
Martin so nice. offered to accompany me till stupid idiot arrives. denied offer. thanks anyway.
met stupid idiot. his dad joked about great singapore sales. funny. but no mood to laugh. had dinner and went home. NO LIFE.
i was coughing. it was trivial but stupid idiot was nice to have bought me cough syrup. drinking such sweet concoctions was made even tastier. *muacks*

{ go to hell } 9:44 PM

!about me

name:apple mei


wishlist
birthday's on 21st oct..thanks people..*smirks*

l.MP3--at least 4gb and no CREATIVE please

2.a brand new wardrobe( packed with new clothes)

3.wait till i think of stuff

lastly, a stupid idiot 24 hours available for me...


!archives

February 2006;
March 2006;
April 2006;
May 2006;
June 2006;
July 2006;
August 2006;
September 2006;
October 2006;
November 2006;
December 2006;
January 2007;
February 2007;
March 2007;
April 2007;
June 2007;
July 2007;
August 2007;
September 2007;
October 2007;



Free Site Counter
!bitchin'



!connections


martin di di (cutest guy on earth
alvin
anthony
-
arisa
ashika
Brenda
cai ying
charmaine
chen wei
couz yee teng
Currina
debbie
deline
dinah
elvis
GERMS
ginny
han tiong
jaclyn
jamie rea
jessica
kai ngee
kiara
kin yew
nicholas lee
nigel
noozlie
roshilah
sann
sarah
Seng kang
sharon
suhailah
thiam chye
w- pretty wan cheng
yong cai
yu jin
zhi qiang
zhi xiang
zhu wen
!credits

i live in my lackadaisical world i call my own
but only to be tied down by shackles of education which obviously suck big time
living with complexities of life which cannot be revealed and told openly
living in self denial and drowned in my everyday lies
unhealthy living dead i call myself
i just want a simple life with a boyfriend
the desire for a simple want purely makes my life difficult to those who knows my secret
with that i rather live life a living dead.
i no longer reveal the zany side of me
maybe i lost it along the way
on my pilgrimage to maturity
i yearn for someone to open the door
one of where i came from
to find bliss once again
out in the open lawn