Sunday, July 09, 2006
>>>
nightmares
confused.
tried to slumber, but i can't
tossed and turned.
disturbed, so perturbed.
can't sort out my thoughts i don't know why
questioning my love for him
i felt so heavy
someone please save me.
i guess i'm just tired.
i stopped in the middle of the road.
the car's coming.
but i just couldn't move
why am i putting my life at stake?
i'm as aimless as you.
maybe i'm waiting for that special someone to pull me away
i missed that feeling
when someone was pursuing me
the churning of the stomach muscles
the butterfly flutters
it's been a long time since i've experienced that
and i guess i would never experience that ever again
i'm still young
but i know to love one
i got to love with all my heart
and i'm loving someone now
i won't leave
but the fact that he's not romantic scares me
because i'm afraid i would go against my principles
abandon him on that very road
where he saved me from singlehood
and i couldn't deny that he's never been nice
to me it's just not enough
i want him to bring me to the beach
look at the stars
talk about a future
a future with him.
i want him to seize me into his arms ,when i'm not looking
taken by surprise, i look at him
he tells me i'm his life
he tells me he loves me more than anything else in this world
and do a kiss the french way
stopping time, a minute to seem like eternity
we withdraw from each other
i look at him and he looks at me.
that moment so enchanting
i want to be the lead actress in "50 first love''
i want that kind of feeling everyday.
but for guys they're just unable to be consistent
and for stupid idiot,
i still can't accept the way he loves me
though i know he really does.
i asked him if he's afraid that i'll leave him
he said "NO"
i was so stressed
don't know why
i wonder how long i can last
to accept his flaws, accept his kind of love
do i really love him?
or was it lust?
lust for companionship, lust for fun?
my nightmare had just begun
{ go to hell } 4:54 AM
