>>> dreading difficult decisions -D3

should i or should i not give you up? when another fat piece of meat lingers upon my lips, tempting me to just take it and leave you behind. but i have my reservations. afterall it's been a long while, i know you more than that stranger. however, strangers emanates a cloud of mystery, unfathomable aura. it somehow attracts me to get to know Mr. alien more than i want to know you.

when i am deprived of what i deserve, this would be how i behave. now you know. i 'm not tied down by heavy iron metals to you. Rather, i am concerned with my conscience. it would be a terrible decision if i left you for good, as i can't guarantee a better future if i had done so, but i am certain that we would never bicker those boring stuff over and over again, as well as driving you crazy once again.

life is getting better if i realised i did not talk to you. yet, jealousy overwhelms my being and affects my ability to think. maybe not jealousy, maybe i envy others for their good life. something i am deprived of. something i do not own. something which u are unable to fulfil, leaving me in search of someone who can. every conversation over the phone with you makes it so much easier for me to put you at the back of my head. so much easier.

i am not pampered as u do not see the need to. i don't mind, as long as you don't mind risking losing me as a result of your egoistical nature, nonchalance or whatever you may call it.

maybe all of this is ending sooner than i thought. i used to cry, now i don't .

name:apple mei


wishlist
birthday's on 21st oct..thanks people..*smirks*

l.MP3--at least 4gb and no CREATIVE please

2.a brand new wardrobe( packed with new clothes)

3.wait till i think of stuff

lastly, a stupid idiot 24 hours available for me...



February 2006;
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