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Thursday, December 07, 2006
>>> 14 hours before

around 20 hours before, i was still trampling on the grounds of shanghai, trying my very best to snapshot my very last moment there and recalling of all the wonders of the past 19 days in hang zhou, shao xing and ningbo.

19 days seemed so yesterday.

it suddenly struck me that though those days there was wonderful, however my heart feels the weight pulling down, absuloutely not of gravity but rather, the realisation that past 19 days was only a runaway project from reality.

i have lots of work to catch up on. i have to mend a broken relationship. i have insufficient gifts to give out. i have a cousin to teach. i have insufficient $$ to spend now that i've spent everything there. i have meet-ups to arrange ( big headache) i've got new friends and i've got to make sure i'll keep in touch with them (very often difficult due to many many reasons). i've got china to miss. i've got memories to keep and document for self-keeping sake. i've got china friends to contact and send each other stuffs.

the list goes on.

my mood is not the supposedly happy one after every other holiday but i go home with a sunken face like i've just lost a loved one.

or maybe i just did losing a loved one. it's a terrible feeling.

today when i see everyone's relatives receive them from the airport, i wanted to cry out loud. i called dad. he was working. i could sense the welcoming joy of my return, but he blurted out, " you're coming home by taxi right?"

what else could i say? i just replied with a lazy , " yah" and put down the phone.

how i wish he would put down his work and come fetch me !

but i'm perversely announcing that i'm not alone. sorry to say that but i'm really glad al least hon ren and kai heng are another few lonely souls deeply saddened by the cruel fact of having no one to receive us.

wendy even got a fan club !!! her friends came to fetch her!! there i stood in front of the departure hall, sadly waving to people i don't even know, pretending to have relatives and friends out there waiting for me until the crowd is all gone.

three lonely souls lay there in disappointment, an urge to cry and engaging in deep thought, " where are all our friends and relatives?"

we went for mac donalds breakfast and went home together in a cab. my mom said she's got the intention to fetch me but i did not tell her when i'm coming back.

true enough. my bad.

dad welcomed me back cooking a sumptuous breakfast for me. i bought stuffs for siblings. they weren't happy about my return though. another person fighting over e computer with them.

-_-''

the more i talked about it, the more affected i am. i shall stop here. i shall rest more. recuperate from all the blows i had for today.

i can't take it anymore.

martin, zhi xiang, i missed you guys.

jing jing, kai wei, jia min, i hoped you guys were there with me. china trip was super fun.

koon and jessica, i know you guys missed me alot just as i have towards both of you. thanks for bothering to be the firsts to welcome me as soone as i've reached singapore. and thankful that koon went to the airport and talked to me. i am touched.

huiqing, we shall have fun again.

jeslyn, xiuling, honren, kaiheng, shengyi, i'm glad you guys were in the trip. you guys rocks !

wei loong, i thought of you during the trip. :)

all others : i'm back! in a piece! but i'm still sad. give me time to rest me mind and soul. for my absence seemed nothing to you.

deeply affected.


{ go to hell } 7:30 PM

!about me

name:apple mei


wishlist
birthday's on 21st oct..thanks people..*smirks*

l.MP3--at least 4gb and no CREATIVE please

2.a brand new wardrobe( packed with new clothes)

3.wait till i think of stuff

lastly, a stupid idiot 24 hours available for me...


!archives

February 2006;
March 2006;
April 2006;
May 2006;
June 2006;
July 2006;
August 2006;
September 2006;
October 2006;
November 2006;
December 2006;
January 2007;
February 2007;
March 2007;
April 2007;
June 2007;
July 2007;
August 2007;
September 2007;
October 2007;



Free Site Counter
!bitchin'



!connections


martin di di (cutest guy on earth
alvin
anthony
-
arisa
ashika
Brenda
cai ying
charmaine
chen wei
couz yee teng
Currina
debbie
deline
dinah
elvis
GERMS
ginny
han tiong
jaclyn
jamie rea
jessica
kai ngee
kiara
kin yew
nicholas lee
nigel
noozlie
roshilah
sann
sarah
Seng kang
sharon
suhailah
thiam chye
w- pretty wan cheng
yong cai
yu jin
zhi qiang
zhi xiang
zhu wen
!credits

i live in my lackadaisical world i call my own
but only to be tied down by shackles of education which obviously suck big time
living with complexities of life which cannot be revealed and told openly
living in self denial and drowned in my everyday lies
unhealthy living dead i call myself
i just want a simple life with a boyfriend
the desire for a simple want purely makes my life difficult to those who knows my secret
with that i rather live life a living dead.
i no longer reveal the zany side of me
maybe i lost it along the way
on my pilgrimage to maturity
i yearn for someone to open the door
one of where i came from
to find bliss once again
out in the open lawn