Saturday, October 06, 2007
>>>
i've been studying real hard today. and i felt so pathetic and lonely having to study alone. i can't join ginny in bishan as much as i want to, and i was glad ginny called just to say she missed me. i'm glad some people remembered me when i needed it most.
studying sucks, it just robbed me of my social life.
and when i felt most empty at any point of time, i miss my kai wei, jia min and jing jing. i just told kai wei to bring me to malaysia to eat secret recipe i craved so much for. she agreed immediately. it's this kind of 24/7 attention that i get from her which made me experience euphoria almost every second of my life. it's this kind of friendship which touched me so much i'd do anything for them. and it's just them who makes me feel special forever. it's their caring gestures which makes me wanna cry in disbelief that i have such besties. i have an identity because i have them :)
this year, i've again, met some really nice people who also made a difference in my life. we've come together by fate, and have become best friends because they're so willing to give. they're the ones who would deliver doughnuts right before your door steps when u want it the most. even when it wasn't asked for, they would just go to your house, giving you a surprise and encourage you to study hard for coming exams. whenever u feel down, they would listen so attentively and make sure u feel okay subsequently. they're the ones who makes my school life so entertaining i wouldn't feel like leaving school as much as i want to.
i cry in tears of joy.
in the middle of the night when i feel angry with fear and regret that i havent studied enough, i anticipate and look forward to plans we're supposed to carry out after my promotional exams-- going to arisa's house with ginny to encourage her as well as making her jealous our exams are over, going to secret recipe with kai wei and to ask pat to tag along, working again with my cousin whom i love so much and the girls, shopping spree, ramen ten with classmates competing against one another to finish up a bowl of ramen of maximum chilli strength, chilling in coffee bean making sure we're never able to step in it ever again....
but i'm suffering now, bombarding 8 months of knowledge in 2 nights is not working. it's really tough. my memory capacity could only hold so much. the more i studied, the shallower i think i've become. i'm like a thumbdrive of 512 MB, i didn't have alot of memory to begin with, all files are stored temporarily, and though 512 seemed quite alot, but actually it's really little. though 512 is a big number, but it's nothing compared to a 4 GB storage device whom my other friends probably has that kind of memory space. i 'm thinking i'm dumb as time goes by. omg. i wasn't stupid to start with i'm sure. but i think i'm brimming up to the maximum and i 'm not ready for it. IT'S FUCKING PROMOTIONAL EXAMS AGAIN.
KAI WEI , I MISS YOU. DAVE, I MISS YOU.
{ go to hell } 10:39 PM
